My anxiety was turning into paranoia. If she told her husband, I was fucked. Or what if it turned into something even worse? I considered Eleanor Kaminski somewhat dim but mostly benign. What if I was all wrong about that? What if she was a more dangerous kind of dumb? What if she pretzeled the whole thing in her mind into a, oh shit, a rape?!I was worse than fucked. I was fucked and dead. .:.My shift that night at the A&P seemed like the longest five hours of my life. I kept looking out the storefront windows, waiting for a police cruiser to pull up to the curb. I tried to work quickly when bagging groceries so people might not register my hands shaking. But I left most of the bagging chores to Jim and Sally and voluntarily took the shit assignments, like restocking bags, mopping the employee bathrooms, sweeping the aisle of all the cigarette butts, and rounding up carts.A few hours in, when the sun was finally going down and no one had come to haul me away, I began to feel a little. One of those is to let men wine and dine them, so that isexactly what we are going to do."George was close to tears now, with a fear that consumed him. "But myvoice will give me away. I can say a few things but no way can I carryon a conversation."Ellen placed a hand on his knee in a patronizing way to calm him."I've thought about that; these guys are Americans. With your swarthycomplexion, you could certainly pass for being Hispanic. I'll tell themthat you don't speak English. If by some chance they speak Spanish,we'll stick with our story that you are a Cherokee and only speak pigeonSpanish. We've worked on a few words of Spanish you can say with agirly voice, just stick to them and you'll get by."Trying to think up any reason not to go. The best he could come up withwas, "I don't know how to act as a woman on a date." Oh, come on you have been on lots of dates before." I wouldn't say a lot. When I did date, it was as a kid, I doubt awoman acts the same way a high school.
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